trying to figure it all out

Let’s be real last semester was hard with volunteering. I went into it with high expectations for myself and for my placement but none of them were really met.  I really struggled with it. My junior praxis is an opportunity for me to grow and learn from volunteering in a ministry.

This course is designed to give students the opportunity of intentional, consistent volunteering in one ministry setting.  Students will develop the skill of becoming ‘reflective practitioners’ through structured debriefing sessions with the instructor, focused readings, and individualized ministry projects.

To gain a deeper understanding of how she or he can fit into a community or church ministry as a regular volunteer.

To be exposed to, and to learn from, a focused ministry experience.

 To become more aware of the relationship between spiritual belief and praxis.

I think I struggled the most while volunteering because I had expected to walk into my placement and instantly begin to grow both in my faith and as a volunteer. When that didn’t happen immediately it stressed me out quite a bit, but I pushed through it hoping that God would present an opportunity for me. After one semester I still feel like I haven’t grown any in my ministry and the Lord hasn’t presented any opportunities to really step out of my comfort zone and lead.

However I do feel like I have been learning a valuable life lesson. I feel like God has been reminding me that not everything is going to work out the way I want it to. I have learned this lesson before but the past semester was another reminder of it.

I wanted to work with an inner-city organization where I could build relationships, grow as a ministry worker, and lead in a ministry. I really feel like I haven’t been able to do any of that over the past semester. Things did not g the way I wanted them to.

So I think it is time for a change.

I don’t know where I should go or what I should do.

Like I’ve said in previous blogs, I am a leader at a youth group, so that is always an option. The youth pastor knows me well enough that he could give me some responsibility so I know I could grow as a leader, but I have been a youth leader before and as much as I love leading youth, I don’t know if that is where God wants me to be.

So for anyone who is reading this post please be praying for me. I am praying and asking that the Lord will guide me and give me direction in regards to what ministry he wants me to be leading in this semester.

Thanks for reading,

Em